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	Adam got his first boner on November 19th, 1974, a day known by women everywhere as "Black Tuesday".
	In high school, Adam taught himself to ride a unicycle, which he still likes to ride from time to time. When he gets a chance, he also likes to ride Jimmy Kimmel.
	When Adam was 22, he came into some money—because he didn’t have a towel around.
	Adam’s radio show was promoted with the tag line "American genius". Adam fought hard to have this tag line replace the original one that CBS had chosen, which was "Monkey that can speak".
	When Adam was in high school, he was pretty good at football. And he won’t let you forget it.
	Movies and television usually feature good-looking people, which is why Adam is in radio.
	Like Jesus, Adam was once a carpenter. Unlike Jesus, Adam masturbated six times a day in high school.
	On August 3rd, 1981, Adam has his first sexual experience. For the next two days, he complained that his ass was very sore.
	There is a small tribe in New Guinea that worships Adam’s unibrow as the "God of the Bush".

Adam uses tweezers to artfully transform his unibrow into something very special: a unibrow with a space in the middle.

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